On rejection

I hadn't heard of Michael Hastings until he died last week, which is merely more evidence of how exceedingly poorly read I am.

But I found this post, which contains his advice to would-be journalists. Apart from reminding me why I'll never be a journalist, it included, almost as an afterthought the one thing that I've come to believe is more important than pretty much anything else in creative endeavours.*

"Learn to embrace rejection as part of the gig. Keep writing/pitching/reading."

The words "embrace rejection" seem wholly paradoxical at first reading. And the second sentence seems almost glib. But this final note in his list struck me. Hard.

Embracing rejection isn't about loving a knock-back. It's about understanding why the publication or person didn't want your work, and assessing your ideas in light of that. Maybe you'll come out the other end saying, "yeah, okay, but I'm still hot on this idea for reasons x, y and z. I'm gonna keep shopping this one." Or maybe you'll change tack slightly, reflect and alter the plan on the basis of the new information you've got. (That is, the rejection.)

There is nothing more freeing than ceasing to be emotionally tied to your output in a way that doesn't allow for anyone not to like it.

When I stopped instantly rejecting criticism, I realised that everyone really does see everything differently. And when I realised that, I understood that a rejection told me something about the person (or a publication, or an organisation).

If I wanted to, I could use that information for good—perhaps by shaping my next idea to reflect what I'd learned. Or I could use it for evil, clutching ever more tightly to my own idea, willing to die (or wind up living in a cardboard box) to protect its integrity from detractors.

And when I realised that, I (largely) stopped being afraid that my "creativity" wasn't enough, that my ideas might be no good.

Then I really started enjoying writing for people.

*By which I mean not just creative work, but, you know, "life".