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Alternative headline: Newspaper reports that no one cares about what they're reporting on.

Sitting through the news at the moment, I imagine I feel like parents of children performing in school plays and presentations must feel, waiting as I am through 90% of the bulletin so I can get a few seconds of actually relevant content somewhere toward the end.

The fact that all the other news is dire hardly makes it seem worthwhile, I have to admit.

7 Ways to tell you need a damn break from writing

1. You find yourself using "damn" in every damn sentence you write.
2. Every email wants you want to stab yourself in the damned eye. Even—nay, especially—the ones advertising cheap flights.
3. You delete all your damned bookmarks because everything you read seems like it was written by a complete phoney.
4. You start to feel a deep and abiding empathy with Holden Caulfield. Deeper and more abiding than usual, dammit.
5. In the moments spent not trying to fashion sentences—which has by now become damn-near impossible—your mind is an utter, utter blank. 
6.  
7. Um. Damn.